WWE Raw 06/018
We are live in: Long Island, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
Raw intro starts.
Mick Foley comes out and heads into the ring.
He says he came out to promote Raw’s 1000th episode, a show he was a major part of for some time. Then he got a call from the Board of Directors. And while they were figuring out who the permanent General Manager was going to be, they’re going to find interim GM’s from the past to take over. Seeing as how he used to be a GM, and he’s from Long Island, the decision was an easy one to make. This week’s Raw and Smackdown will be hosted by Mrs. Foley’s baby boy. A huge tag team takes place tonight. Kane and Daniel Bryan take on the World Champion Sheamus and the WWE Champion CM Punk. There is unfortunately one other thing he has to mention. John Laurinaitis was fired last night, but tonight he gets to give his farewell address. So please put your hands together and give a warm Long Island welcome to the FORMER Vice President of Talent Relations and the FORMER General Manager of Raw and Smackdown…John Laurinaitis.
Laurinaitis comes out limping to the ring in his crutch. He also has a sling on his arm. He enters the ring with help from Foley.
He says his name is Mr. John Laurinaitis…
Laurinaitis yells at the fans to shut up!
He tells Foley to tell them to quiet down, but Foley jokingly says that Laurinaitis told him that Long Island sucks.
Laurinaitis grabs the microphone back.
These fans of the WWE Universe are extremely rude! He’s gonna wait and give his farewell address later. last night, before he was fired, he made the main event tonight. It’ll be a handicap match with John Cena facing Big Show, David Otunga, and himself. Consider that his parting gift. That being said…Mick, get over here.
Foley gets close to him.
Laurinaitis grumbles “have a nice day!” and leaves the ring.
Sheamus comes out and heads to the ring for his match. He shakes hands with Foley.
CM Punk, his tag partner, comes out next. He heads to the ring.
Kane comes out as their opponent and heads to the ring.
Daniel Bryan comes out as his tag partner and heads to the ring.
[Tag Team Match]
[Sheamus & CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan & Kane]
Bell sounds. Sheamus and Bryan start off. Sheamus with a side headlock into a take down. Bryan gets up whips Sheamus and Sheamus with a shoulder takedown. Off the ropes, Bryan counters and sends Sheamus over the top. Sheamus gets back in the ring and hits a diving shoulder tackle. Sheamus with a backbreaker for two. Tag to punk. Punk with a flipping splash for a two. Punk with kicks, and Bryan counters with a kick of his own. Tag to Kane. Kane grabs Punk and lands a volley of punches in the corner. Kane whips Punk and clotheslines him for a one count. Kane picks Punk up and twists the arm. Punk fights out of it with a kick. Kane shoulder bumps Kane down for a quick two count. He whips Punk into the ropes. Punk with a boot to Kane and now he’s trading punches with Kane and Bryan. Kane with a clothesline attempt, but Punk dives through the ropes and hits Bryan. He gets on the apron and hits Kane with a( jawbreaker. He climbs the turnbuckle and goes flying, but Kane catches him with a jab to the throat.
Kane has Punk in a headlock, but Punk counters. He goes for GTS, but Kane counters with a chokeslam attempt. Punk with a roundhouse kick to keep him down. Punk with the hot tag. Sheamus enters the ring and knocks down Kane and Bryan. Sheamus with a running knee to the face followed by a powerslam for a two count. Sheamus with the Irish Curse backbreaker to Kane. He then grabs Bryan on the apron and goes for clubbing blows. Kane tries to stop with a boot, but Sheamus moves and Bryan gets hit. Sheamus goes for White Noise, but Kane counters and knocks him out of the ring. Bryan with the assist running dropkick to the face. Kane grabs Sheamus and puts him in the ring. Tag to Bryan. Bryan kicks Sheamus in the corner numerous times. He charges and hits a running dropkick for a two count. Bryan with a headlock submission. Sheamus fights out of it, runs and Bryan kicks him down with a knee to the gut. Bryan with a headlock. Tag to Kane. Kane drives a knee into Sheamus and kicks him while he’s down. Kane with a whip counter, he picks Sheamus up with a side slam for a two count. Kane climbs to the top and waits for Sheamus. Sheamus up and Kane with the clothesline off the top for another two count. Tag to Bryan. Bryan kicks Sheamus down some more. Bryan goes for another running dropkick, but Sheamus avoids it. Both men crawl to their partners. Tag to Punk. Punk gets in and knocks Bryan down with a dropkick, clothesline, and he goes for the GTS, but Bryan gets out of it. Punk with a powerslam for two. He hits a running clothesline followed by a running bulldog. Punk climbs to the top and goes for the elbow, but Bryan stops him. Bryan climbs up and hits a superplex off the top.
AJ suddenly comes out and skips around the ring while wearing a mask similar to Kane, complete with black and white attire. Kane, in shock, leaves the ring. Punk tags Sheamus. Punk hits the GTS and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the three count.
[Winners via Pinfall: CM Punk & Sheamus]
Sheamus and Punk celebrate in the ring.
Swagger and Ziggler are backstage arguing with each other about who the better wrestler is.
Vickie says she’s tired of them arguing. It’s time to make a decision. Which of them TRULY deserves her admiration and respect. Instead of taking this outside, they’re going to settle it in the ring right now.
Laurinaitis and Otunga are backstage making fun of Foley. Show walks over and asks what’s funny.
Laurinaitis says what’s funny is how he’s going to knock Cena out again, and he’ll cover him for the three count. What’s funny is that the WWE Universe will never forget Laurinaitis. The fans don’t deserve him. He gave them the best programming, and tonight he’ll leave a lasting impression. That’s what’s funny.
Show says he doesn’t find anything funny…at all.
Otunga says he’s in a bad mood.
Laurinaitis adds that tonight, Cena will get his.
Back at ringside, Dolph Ziggler comes out and heads to the ring for his match.
Swagger is in the ring for the match.
[Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger]
The bell sounds. They circle each other and tie up. Swagger with a side takedown. He then does some pushups. Ziggler and Swagger circle each other again. Ziggler with a leg takedown. Swagger and Ziggler push each other. Swagger goes for another takedown, but Ziggler catches him. Swagger lifts Ziggler up and Ziggler flips over landing on his knee. Ziggler goes for a clothesline and Swagger counters with a sweep to the knee. Swagger grabs the leg and slams it on the ground. He continues to work the leg while putting Ziggler against a corner. Swagger pulls the knee pad off and drops an elbow. He pulls on the leg for awhile. Swagger gets up and grabs Ziggler. Ziggler with a small package for a two count. Ziggler goes for Zig Zag but Swagger counters into the anklelock. Ziggler slowly makes his way to the bottom rope, but Swagger pulls him back to the center of the ring. Ziggler manages to roll Swagger shoulder first into the turnbuckle. He then hits the Zig Zag for the three count.
[Winner via Pinfall: Dolph Ziggler]
Vickie celebrates with Ziggler and kisses him on the lips before leaving together.
A racap video is shown of Triple H at No Way Out challenging Brock Lesnar to a match at Summerslam.
Backstage, a limo pulls up into the arena.
A “memorable Raw moment” video plays. Jerry Lawler talks about the time when Vince was in the hospital and Mankind came to visit along with “Mr. Socko”. Then Austin, disguised as a doctor, attacks Vince and whacks him with a bedpan to the head.
Brock’s music plays and Brock’s representative Paul Heyman comes out. He heads into the ring to respond to Triple H’s challenge on behalf of Brock.
Ladies and gentlemen, he is Paul Heyman, and he is here as the advocate for Brock Lesnar. He understands that every single person up in the tower caters to Triple H’s whims, but Lesnar is not one of those people, so here’s a word that Triple H is probably not used to: no. No, Brock Lesnar will not drop his lawsuit against WWE. No, he will not drop his lawsuit against Triple H. Most importantly, no, Brock Lesnar will not fight Triple H at Summerslam. Thanks for your kind attention, and thanks to Triple H for his time as well.
Triple H comes out and heads to the ring.
He looks around here and can’t help but notice they’re not in a bingo hall, and he’s not drinking the kool aid he passed around in the 90s. Paul is a hapitual liar. Brock Lesnar will face him.
Heyman says can he listen to himself?
He’s not listening to himself. He wants to listen to Brock Lesnar. He wants to hear him say that he’ll fight him at Summerslam. He can give Brock what he wants. He wants to be the star. Take a look.
The Tron shows a poster for Summerslam with Brock’s face on the front.
He’ll be the star. He’ll get everything he wants. He only has to fight him.
Heyman says that Lesnar has no ego.
He has no ego? Usually he lies better than this. The guy who came out and said he wanted the show to be called “Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar” has no ego? It’s all about ego for Brock? He’d rather make his money sitting in a courtroom for a long period of time? Brock’s all about ego, and Brock will do this because if he doesn’t, Lesnar is gonna go down as the guy that is SCARED of Triple H.
He’s good. He really is that damn good. He almost had HIM going. Wow. “Brock’s scared of me”, come on. Stop. Please stop. Just stop pretending to be a wrestler. Stop being the ass kicker he used to be. Go back to his ivory tower, back home to his little princesses and play the king of kings cause in Lesnar and Heyman’s world, he’s not the king of anything. Is he getting mad at him? Is he gonna HIT him now, big bad wrestler? Is that what he’s gonna do? He’s getting to be more and more like Vince as each day goes back. Just like he knew how to pushed Vince’s buttons, he knows how to push his. He’s not facing Lesnar, and if he wants to hit him, he can hit him right now. Go ahead. Because if he even THINKS about hitting him, he and Brock are gonna run this joint. And Brock and Heyman’s WWE has nothing for him. But he does have something for Stephanie-
Triple H grabs Heyman by the cuff of his shirt.
Heyman says he can’t breathe. Do it! He’s not gonna hit him!
Triple H lets go.
He knew he wouldn’t hit him. He can out think him every single time. He knows everything he’s gonna do long before he does it. He met his match with him. He sees everything he’s going to do a mile away.
Triple H punches Heyman in the face knocking him out cold.
Did he see that coming? Tell Brock Lesnar he’ll see him at Summerslam. That is, unless, he’s afraid the same thing will happen to him.
Triple H exits the ring and heads to the back. Heyman is tended to by referees.
Still to come, Cena faces Show, Otunga and Laurinaitis in a three on one handicap match. Up next, Santino Marella takes on Alberto Del Rio.
Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez.
Ricardo introduces Alberto Del Rio to the ring. Del Rio came out in a 2011 Audi A7.
U.S. Champion Santino Marella comes out next and heads to the ring.
[Santino Marella vs. Alberto Del Rio]
Bell sounds. They grapple and Del Rio kicks Santino against the corner. Snap mare to Santino followed by a dropkick to the head for a two count. He grabs the arm and twists it into an armbar variation. Santino gets to his feet and punches Del Rio off. Rio with a headbutt. He goes for a clothesline but Santino splits and hits a hip toss. He goes for the diving headbutt, but Rio rolls out of the way. Rio goes after Santino and Santino kicks him back. He goes to get the cobra out, but Rio dropkicks him in the face and applies the cross arm breaker for the submission.
[Winner via Submission: Alberto Del Rio]
Del Rio exits the ring. Ricardo grabs Santino and drops an armbreaker on Santino. Ricardo exits the ring and yells at Santino some more.
A video plays promoting Cyndi Lauper’s time in WWE back in the “Rock ‘n Wrestling” days.
Cyndi makes her return next.
WWE Divas Champion Layla is in the ring.
As part of the 1000th Raw celebration on July 23rd, it’s her honor to introduce two divas who, without them, would not have brought out the Divas today. Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper!
Richter and Lauper come out together and head to the ring.
They start to talk about the last time they were in a wrestling ring.
Heath Slater suddenly comes out.
Heath says he knows they’re nowhere near the Long Island railroad, but this is nothing but a train wreck.
Cyndi asks who he is.
Heath says he’s the “one man band” Heath Slater
Cyndi says she can afford a band.
Heath says he’s not going to let them ruin his moment. They should bop over there so he can give his first single.
Slater starts to sing…badly.
Roddy Piper comes out! He heads into the ring.
Piper introduces himself to the ladies and kisses their hands.
“Ms. Slater…take a hike!”
Slater says he didn’t like Lauper anyway. What’s he doing here!
Piper says when girls just wanna have fun, they call the Hot Rod! It was the “Rock ‘n Wrestling” that made Wrestling the way it is today, and she’s to be thanked for it. One more thing. He’s waited a long time for this. He loves her singing and everything about him.
Piper grabs a framed gold vinyl record.
A long time ago, there was a great manager named Captain Lou Albano. Roddy was having a bad day and he hit Lou over the head with a gold record. He’s sorry for that. He wants to tell her something. He wants to give her this gold record on behalf of himself, of Captain Lou, and on behalf of the entire WWE Universe. She’s the best lady he knows that has ever been part of this business, and she is gold to them.
They embrace in a hug.
Heath says it was TWENTY years ago! Nobody even remembers of cares about it. How about they shut up and get out of the ring so he can sing and one day get a gold record!
He starts singing again, and Roddy whistles over to him.
He sings like a bird…like a vulture!
He punches Heath. Heath stumbles and Cyndi whacks him in the head with the frame. Lauper, Richter, Piper and Layla celebrate in the ring.
Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes are in the ring. Abraham Washington steps out on the ramp.
Washington says he would like to introduce the future WWE Tag Team Champions, Titus O’Niel and Darren Young, the Prime Time Players
Titus and Darren comes out and head to the ring as their opponents.
[Tag Team Match]
[Primo & Epico vs. Titus O’Niel & Darren Young]
Bell Sounds. Titus and Primo grapple. Titus whips Primo, Primo counters but Titus with a boot to the face. He tag Darren in and body slam Primo. He then grabs Darren and suplexes him onto Primo for a two count. Darren with a chin lock submission. Primo gets to his feet and tags Epico. Epico with chops to Darren. Epico with a back elbow followed by a dropkick. He runs up the turnbuckle and hits a twisting moonsault, but Titus tosses him out of the ring. Primo enters the ring and hits Darren with the backstabber. He goes for the cover, but Titus pulls Darren out. Primo and Epico baseball slide them. They run the ropes and Washington gets them away before they get hit. Washington keeps them outside until they get counted out.
[Winners via Count Out: Primo & Epico]
Backstage, Show, Otunga and Laurinaitis are talking strategy for this match.
Next week, Chris Jericho returns to Raw.
Laurinaitis is in the ring.
His name is Mr. Johny Laurinaitis. He is the exec-the former executive vice president of Talent Relations. Last night, in an act of cowardice, John Cena cheated. Cena and five other men beat down the Big Show allowing him to escape the cage. After he escaped, Vince said those very two words, “You’re Fired!” And then Cena dumped him through the announce table. He’s not the loser here. Show is not the loser here. You know who the biggest loser in this match is? Each and every one of them because they don’t have “People Power” Everyone in the WWE Universe is a loser! Everyone at home is a loser, and everyone in this arena is a loser! The next time they see him is when Mr. Laurinaitis is inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. This is one of the darkest days in WWE History. Know what? He’s gonna give them what they deserve. He’s gonna give them what they may not wanna see: the biggest beat down of John Cena ever. Allow him to introduce to them, his legal adviser, wrestling extraordinaire, David Otunga.
Otunga comes out and heads to the ring.
Big Show comes out after him.
Final break of the night. Teddy Long, now free from Laurinaitis’ control, comes out and sits with Cole and Lawler at commentary.
Show is in the ring. He says that it took six man, including Cena, to beat him. Because of that loss, Laurinaitis was fired. He would like to thank him for his ironclad contract and his big fat bonus. He would like to thank him for finally letting him be who he is. He’s not held down by anyone. Not even Johnny. He proved he can beat Cena on his own. He’s off to bigger and better things. He sees no reason for him to compete tonight in this ring. Otunga, Johnny, you’re on your own.
Show exits the ring and heads to the back. Laurinaitis and Otunga talk to one another.
John Cena comes out. He heads to the ring for the now two on one handicap match.
[John Laurinaitis & David Otunga vs. John Cena]
The bell sounds. They grapple and Cena scoop slams him followed by an elbow. Cena with a bulldog to Otunga. Otunga goes for a tag, but Laurinaitis back away. Cena grabs Otunga and hits a suplex. Otunga tries to get Laurinaitis to tag him, but he backs away again. Cena continues to pummel Otunga. He goes for a shoulder tackle, but Otunga steps side. Otunga heads out with Cena and whips him into the ring steps. He tosses Cena back in the ring and kicks him down. Otunga with a clothesline followed by a shoulder tackle for a two count. Otunga knocks down Cena again and gets another two count. Otunga with kicks to Cena followed by an elbow to the throat.
Laurinaitis asks for the tag and Otunga gives it to him. He suddenly takes off his sling and starts kicking away at Cena. He wasn’t injured at all. Laurinaitis covers and gets a one count. Laurinaitis goes to tag Otunga, but Otunga drops off the apron and walks away. Cena is up. He waits for Laurinaitis to turn around. Cena wails on him with a right hand. He picks Johny up and hits a spin out powerbomb followed by the five knuckle shuffle. He picks up Laurinaitis and hits Attitude Adjustment. The fans ask for one more. Cena picks Johnny up and hits a second Attitude Adjustment. The fans continue to ask for one more. Cena picks Johnny up and hits a third Attitude Adjustment. He locks in the STF and Johnny taps out.
[Winner via Submission: John Cena]
Teddy Long celebrates outside the ring. Cena taunts for the fans while Laurinaitis lies in pain outside the ring and the show comes to an end.